Where
are the Fathers?
By
Evangelist Chris Jacobs
According to the U.S.
Department of Census 43% of U.S. children live without their fathers which is
five times the national average, 90% of homeless and runaway children are
fatherless, thirty two times the average and 85 % of all youth incarcerated
come from fatherless homes, twenty times
the average[Texas Department of Corrections]. A 2002 Department of Justice
survey of 7,000 inmates revealed that 39% of those incarcerated lived in mother
only households and one fifth experienced a father who was also imprisoned.
Daughters of single parents without a father involved are 53 % more likely to
marry as teenagers, 711% more likely to have children as teenagers and 164%
more likely to have a pre-marital sexual encounter. As a father these statistics
are staggering and very tragic. However on a brighter and more encouraging
note, children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to
do well in school, have a healthy self-esteem, exhibit compassion and avoid
high risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy and criminal activity compared to
those who have uninvolved fathers.
Unfortunately this
spirit of fatherlessness has slinked its way into Christendom and the Body of
Christ. If we were to take a statistical look at the church, the numbers of the
spiritually fatherless would be equal to or undoubtedly higher than those we
just concentrated on. It saddens me to see this term “spiritual father” used so
lightly. The Church must make sure not to become involved in faddish or popular
terms that come and go. From my own experience, I can count on both hands how
many times a pastor or minister has called me “son”. But as soon as you are not a part of his or
her ministry, you become an orphan. One of the definitions of an orphan is a
child who has lost both parents and less commonly, one parent. This regrettably
paints a picture of the Body of Christ today. So many have been orphaned and
abandoned by self-proclaimed spiritual fathers and mothers as well as those
appointed and anointed by God to be spiritual fathers or mothers. Paul said in
1 Corinthians 4:15[Amplified], “After all, though you should have ten thousands
teachers [guides to direct you] in Christ, yet you do not have many fathers,
For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the glad tidings (the
Gospel).”
In today’s Christian
world there are countless preachers, pastors, prophets and teachers (instructors),
but the question remains, where are the fathers? Where are those willing to
take the time to raise true sons and daughters in the Kingdom? Yes, being a
father takes time, patience, sensitivity and commitment. In the same light,
spiritual fathers must adopt this way of viewing spiritual parenting. At times
being a father is very inconvenient and all selfishness must be disregarded. As
Moses was to Joshua, as Elijah was to Elisha, as Naomi was to Ruth and as Paul
was to Timothy, those in five-fold ministry must be to those entrusted to them
by God. I consider every believer to be a spiritual cover or guardian to people
they have led to Christ and discipled. As
Jesus said in Matthew 28:19 we must not only go but we are to make
disciples of all nations and people. This was not a suggestion but a command.
There are distinct and
biblical characteristics that a spiritual father must possess. First, I believe
he must know your calling and purpose before being a part of your spiritual
destiny. Just as Paul knew Timothy’s calling in 2 Timothy 4:5, true spiritual
fathers must know their son’s or daughter’s calling. Many “spiritual fathers”
want to mold you into what they think you should be. This is not biblical but
indeed is manipulative and must be confronted and rejected. Secondly, he or she
must be available at all times. As a father I am readily available to my
daughter twenty four hours, seven days week. What good is a father if he is not
accessible? Thirdly, he must cover and protect you no matter what. Just as God
our Father protect and covers us daily so should spiritual leadership. As I
previously mentioned, many “spiritual fathers” abandon you when you are no
longer involved in their vision or ministry. I do not have the option of
deserting Jazmyn, my daughter, when she is no longer in our home. I would be
considered a deadbeat father and so should those who have abandoned their
spiritual children. Finally, a true father should want his children to be better
and more successful than he is. A father should never muzzle a child’s gifts,
talents or anointing. There is no room for competition in the Kingdom and
certainly not among family. Proverbs 23:15-16 [Msg] says, “Dear child, if you
become wise, I’ll be one happy parent. My heart will dance and sing to the
tuneful truth you will speak.”
In conclusion, I truly
believe that God is fostering true fathers in the Body of Christ. Those with
the Kingdom agenda and also those committed to the role of spiritual
fatherhood. Hopefully, pastors are becoming more aware of their responsibility
to help rear sons and daughters who are healthy spiritually, emotionally and relationally.
As Malachi 4:6 says, “And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the
children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and
strike the earth with a curse.”
